These can begin shortly after the first
birthday, but should fade away by about the age of 4 years, unless the parents
have made tantrums worthwhile.
Examples of instances on tantrums
- Tantrums at the supermarket. Supermarket might have been designed to bring out the worst in children. There are very few staff. People help themselves to what they want. There are long aisles that are just right for running up and down. Shopping for groceries can be pretty boring. The goods are easy to reach, so why shouldn't junior also help himself? The TV commercials have familiarized him with carton designs, so he can recognize some of the products. His little hands heave his choices into the trolley. Mother heaves them back onto the shelf. The child howls in protest, and may throw himself on to the ground in tantrums. Mum is caught in trap. If she submit to blackmail and loads up with what junior demands, she has lost the war. It will be very difficult to regain control in a similar incident. If the battle at the shelves was lost, there is another defeat coming at the checkout where the store has craftily arranged a selection of tasty, tooth-destroying morsels.
- Tantrum with sleepless child. The occasional broken night for parents of young children is normal. Unfortunately there are some children who howl and scream in the night or who wake up and come to the parents’ bed, or who fight going to bed.
The tantrums can come from the child’s
frustration with his parents or with himself. It is not long before the child
sees the tantrum as a powerful manipulative weapon to get what he wants.
What can parents do?
They can attempt to divert the child’s attention to ignore the outbursts or to take him off to his room and ignore him until he has cooled down. That takes strong parental nerves, but the alternative is slavery under a juvenile yoke. Hold the child in a firm, close cuddle. This may work for some parents, but others may find their patience wears thin and they may use force on the child.What should mum do in instances on tantrums at the supermarket?
My view - Go straight out of the store,
with howling child in tow, and talk things over outside. The process needs to
begin with the first time the child tries it on. Toddlers can be tucked under
the arm if necessary.
Tantrums at night here are few rules that
may solve the problems if it is not too severe.
- Not too much liquid just before bedtime.
- Make the last meal of the day the lightest.
- End the day with relaxing activities, not a very exciting game or TV programme.
- A soft light may help to reassure the child who is afraid of the dark, and who wakens to a darkened room.
- Give plenty of time, love and assurance before bedtime.
The howling child cannot be ignored, but
should be given only the comfort necessary to relax him. The child will soon
learn to judge whether the performance is paying off in terms of reward,
assuming that the child has some measure of control over what is happening.
